“Sometimes, some things trigger memories so strange and beautiful, that we are rendered speechless. Memories are funny things, they preserve the small moments of our past, forever. ”
Tears, a couple of them, rolled down his eyes as he heard these lines play in the movie. It was another morning in that distant city, but today, the missing had got to him. But there was a change. Today he wanted to feel it alone, not letting anyone know that the silence was hurting a little.
As he wiped his eyes clear, he resumed the movie. This movie was among his favorites. Whenever he longed for India, he would switch it on, catch glimpses of his Motherland, of Mumbai and move on with his lonely, daily routine. Previously he would talk it out, but today was different. Today he wanted to feel it alone, on his own.
He had long been a believer of keeping things silent, a secret. Then, somewhere a lot started to happen in his life and he became a more open person. He no longer knows which one of the two avatars he would have preferred in the situation he was in. The former would have lived in his own mysterious world, while the latter has a sense of clarity, which he is unsure of what to make of.
“You’ll miss me?”, asked bunny
“Absolutely not”, answer back Naina with a sigh. The softness and good humour in that reply all visible.
“You were saying something?”, asked bunny again. “Nothing, just that, the night has ended”, came an answer. The scene closes with the following lines,” I couldn’t say it, just couldn’t say it. As much as I loved him, he loved his dreams more. I was hurt, but I was grateful. Grateful for the whole hoard of memories I was taking back with me, memories which I will never forget. Those days, those nights, the madness, the laughter, friendships, and .. “
It was a scene he has always loved, adored. Maybe, the connection he knew. His story was a little different. But the track his life has been treading these days seems to be taking him down the same path. And there starts the mysterious tryst with silence.
But he was wondering why he hadn’t heard the sound of silence all this while. It is beautiful. The sound of one’s conscience filling the space around one, encompassing one’s existence and in that moment, rendering it complete for a while. It has always been beyond his understanding, silence, but for the moment silence felt good.
As the boat moves in front of the Louvre, lines which he lives by are spoken, “To reach somewhere, you need to leave from somewhere! One should leave when the time is correct, otherwise relations become a burden and you are left with too many regrets”
He still doesn’t know what to make of these lines. But his heart tells him he will know. His heart talks to him louder in this silence, or probably, he hears it loud now that all the chaos around him has settled down. He is getting used to speaking only to his heart too, as it is with other relations in life, it can never be a one-way journey, can it be? He is getting used to waking up with the feeling of missing those familiar faces and the familiar places. He is getting used to, with a lot of hardship and strain, not telling her that he misses her and that he loves her, adores her. There is a need for some respect which he now understands that their complicated relation deserves, and this silence is the jewel that the feeling shall be adorned with.
But he kindles a little hope still, maybe more than a little. A hope that she will hear him in those silent pauses. Understand the feelings without those expressions, without the words. It is hard at the moment but hopefully time will make this correct. And maybe nothing like this happen. Even that reality isn’t hurting anymore. Knowing that it won’t happen the way he had thought about. Silence nurtures peace, he wonders.
Maybe that is why if you ever want to listen to the sounds of love, you need to first learn how to listen to the sounds of silence..
“You are not right Naina, just very different from me”
For those who don’t know, the movie is “Ye Jawaani hai Deewani”, easy guess for my Indian friends 🙂