To the under-appreciated friends


Don’t judge by the title, if you have been with me on my writing journey, you already know that my titles lose their meaning in the flood of verbosity that flows through the posts. Anyways, let’s stick to business today. Before I even start, I want you, my dear reader to know that despite the language, this post means a lot to me. It is in many ways a confession, and a hope that tomorrow would see us be better friends. And so, here it goes.


Background

We all are living in this age when we do tend to this a lot about all the little things. We make inferences based on those little things and then frame an entire life around those. This post stems out of me doing the first part of the two.

It was on a lovely afternoon, in Paris where the seeds of this post were sown. As always, I was harping on about my life, my stories when a classmate of mine just asked,”In last 30 minutes, you have narrated all your life stories, but do you know about any of her stories?” (Her here is another friend of her who was listening to me)


This was a wake-up call of sorts for me. And thanks to this friend, I realized a simple thing about myself – I actually never knew the story of any of my close friends. Not even one!

Sounds shocking enough, feels worse. And then I contemplated a little and had another epiphany – I don’t know  because I don’t ask. And I don’t ask because I share things without being asked. And hence, I never think that people are not the same as I am and hence I should be asking them questions.

And then there is an  another issue, I don’t know how to ask, how and where to probe! I think asking someone deeper questions around their life might make them feel uncomfortable and maybe make them wonder if I am trying to invade their personal space. I have, maybe somewhere in my past, being warned off and maybe ever since I have kept on with life like that.

I guess that’s my undoing as a friend. And maybe because of this, unfortunately, my relations have been always very shallow, for I have never been able to ask, listen to what my friends have or could have told me. No wonder I have felt that despite my best (or what I deem fit to call as my best) efforts, people have come, floated around and left, even the best ones.


Originally, I had thought of writing a more personalised post than what is coming across. But eventually, I realized that the outline for all those long due apologies was the same. Hence, I made it easier for me and for you to help put the simple message across. If you are a recipient of the link to this blog, I hope you understand that despite my ‘All about me Blabber, all the times’, you as a friend, mean a lot to me. I have failed in the past to keep the connect and I think I will make the same errors in the future too. I just hope that they are just not as fatal. With some of you, distances too have played a vital role. That, combined with many other things have led to the situations culminating into this post. But then, they are beyond our control. My own inability, though, is well within my zone to grab and change! I hope this is a start of the same.

To a hope that tomorrow will see some of you, if not all, as friends, not just closer to me, but as ones whom I am closer to.

Love,

Kanav

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