2015 – The year that wasn’t


As it closes today, I just felt the need for this little reflection. 2015 was an unusual year on many regards! It started with a party on an island in Pondicherry, proceeded to Bangalore, where it had the grandest party of the year! Met so many friends, at the start, met so many new people towards the end!

2015 was a lesson in discipline, humility, and acceptance. And 2015 was so much about travels!

Discipline

2015 tested my financial discipline to its core. With so many trips, so many events, my ability to lend and retrieve had a big test. Needless to say, I failed. Also, I failed in checking my spending a good deal of time. Many unrequired items made it to the inventory. It is anybody’s guess that it cost me during the second half of the year. But, I learned and I am going to make it correct! 2016 won’t allow me to be that easy on my pockets, and hence I can’t be that easy either. Let’s hope to see a change there.

The other count of discipline where I failed in 2015 was academic. I failed in starting my preparation for IIM Calcutta on time, costing me a chance to fulfill that dream of mine. I then missed a quiz, an assignment for the first time in my life. What was hard hitting was that I wasn’t learning from these mistakes! The biggest penalty then came in form of summer placements. To have missed out a chance on Mckinsey, BCG was bad, terribly bad. I am not sure if I have improved yet, but here’s to the hope that 2016 will be a more disciplined and regularized year.

Humility

2015 was a great lesson in humility. From my excursions in South India, to the impeccable Nestle trip to Ukraine, life demonstrated humility during the entire series of events. To have seen people like head of SBU sit and talk about life peacefully, to witnessing life in an Eastern European country at its simple best, nothing felt better. My love for simplicity had returned, only to take a massive hit in the second half. The second half was a more defining blow. To have been rammed against, run over by people whom generally are talked of in the same league was a necessary lesson. Not sure if I ever felt that way, but still, the events of summer hurt. It still hurts. The song has ended, the melody lingers on.

Acceptance

The biggest thing, in my opinion, about 2015 was a coming of age acceptance. I am confident about one thing in life – I have learned to accept much more and accept much better on almost every front.

Failures were plenty in 2015 – IIM Calcutta, Mckinsey, and BCG to say a few. It was tough. Ukraine helped absorb Calcutta; nothing yet had done about the other too. There were many other failures – Charpak Scholarship, the grades at IIM Lucknow and the group projects! All had their lessons and sadly, all needed to be accepted. The Kanav of 2014 would have broken down much earlier, for such were his weaknesses. This one though is a bit better.

Another thing I accepted was about people. No matter how good you treat people, you can’t expect them to treat you the same. And on the other hand, Arse-holes who use others as door-mats, step over them and use them at their will still get so much attention and care, not once, but repeatedly over. Astonishingly, these are all smart people I was talking about, or maybe! Somewhere they taught me that goodness is over rated, and people will do as per there preference. Some love to be treated better; the others just love the door mat treatment. As a Libran who naturally has a love for balance in relations, it was an odd thing for me to see. But thankfully, the over-exposure to such events made them a usual thing and thus easy to accept.

Somewhere, thanks to these people, I have learned how to say no, how to keep myself out of situations and how to talk a bit less. The last one is a long journey, but I am winning for a change.


 

Overall, 2015 was a mix bag. I can recount the failures, but I don’t want to overlook the successes.  To have returned to academia was indeed a highlight. I traveled amazingly during 2015. I tasted Europe and I tasted Mumbai!

And then 2015 was about goodbyes, farewells to people I had spent 2 important years of my life with. It was hard on that front, and though tears were not there to show, 2015 did make the person in me cry, several times over. But I did meet some amazing new people and I can’t be more thankful to life for that.

2015 was a significant year in my life, but I won’t say it was the best. It promised so much; I just failed to deliver to the promise. But then, that is life – an amalgam of successes and failures, of highs and lows and of friends and foes.

Here is to 2016 which is going to be something different. I am scared to my core, so much so that my balls don’t feel anymore.  But it is going to be different, that much I am sure.

Good luck everyone!

Love – Kelp!

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