1st December 2012 & 13th October, 2015
Day 1 & Day 0
IIT & IIM
3 shortlists & 9 shortlists
No McK shortlist & McK shortlist
There is a big list of things which are uncommon between the first two dates and the events associated with them. And then there is one thing which is common – Failure!
Yes, failure is that one thing which is the common factor that will always resonate in my head and in my heart for ages to come, if and when I look back on the dates mentioned above.
Probably 13th has hurt more. Maybe because this time I felt I had prepared better. And with all due respect to my peers, the competition is no where close to what I encountered at IIT. I rated my chances higher and hence the fall was bigger.
It has been a week since that day happened, yet the memories are somewhere fresh. The question of where and how I messed up so badly still begs for answer. Unfortunately, unlike other times, this time I am a clueless piece of shit. As a friend of mine wrote to me later, this day only comes once.
Since 1st December, 2012 I had been asking for once chance at redemption. One chance to prove that I could handle the seat at the big table. This time that came I dropped it with both hands.
No amount of words I mince at this stage will do any justice to what I did and what I didn’t. It is hard to accept that you are not as good as you thought you were. And it is harder to look at those who beat you hands down and not feel scared.
Tables have changed quicker than I could ever think they would. For now, it is all about silently trying to live the mood out. The log tales of disastrous interviews continues. And like it had happened before, it happened again, one more time!