Before you start reading further, let you be warned! This post dates back to 2010 when I was going through another kind of emotional wave in my life! I will appreciate you don’t make inferences or judge my current life based on these! Gracias!
Well, this post isn’t a memorial to the experiences (or rather the blissful experiences, to be a bit precise), but just what I have made out of the things that my tryst with the emotions has taught me & things which otherwise would have been impossible to experience, feel and learn from!
I won’t say that all of them have been exactly the way I would have loved or would’ve wanted them to be, but to be fair, I’m proud of myself, for staying true to myself (even when the mood was filled with tons of pessimism)
Still, let me get back to the topic (without flattering myself anymore)!
There is so much common to the lives of people having nearly nothing in common! What I actually want to point out is that, once in life, it’s worth risking it all, for the sake of seeing a person smile, even when the person is just a friend, or your best friend, or someone to whom you feel attracted in the first sight (Because, love, at first sight, is all crap). What makes me share this not so enlightening yet worth pondering over thought is just how did the strange feel pop up in my life and probably changed me forever.
Have You ever thought what it would feel like to blush at the slightest mention of someone’s name, to smile awkwardly (rather weirdly) upon any mention of that someone, to just think of someone’s name while listening to a particular set of songs, to wait eagerly, staring at one’s own device for the reply of some message you sent, to feel anguished at not been able to catch the glimpse of someone’s face once in a day, to feel worried about the absence of that one person in the class, to always have a look at the class schedule so as to locate the person and then secretly catch glimpses ,to sit idle on your desktop just waiting for the name of that one person to pop up in the online list, to wait for the person to get free from her friends so that you can just have some moments to crack any sort of joke to make that person smile, to be the one to apologize first in condition of any misunderstanding even when you were not at any fault, to wait for the message of that one person on your birthday even when it is over an hour past 12, to just be lost in someone’s thoughts all through the day, to sit with someone’s picture in your hand & tears on it, to bid someone a farewell, and then just cry on ,feeling the pain inside, to waste away the balance of your phone in a single call and then to cut down on your drinks & other stuff to compensate for it, to bend as far as possible to avoid breaking the bond, to just do so much things that once just seemed as if they can’t be done. If yes, then you may just know what it is to have loved (maybe it is Love, maybe just extreme levels of attraction) someone.
From what I had observed from the events taking place around me ,I had always felt that to love someone one needs to sacrifice a very special part of one’s self, without the slightest of doubts and without any thought of return and yet with a faith like anything!
And from what my life has taught me, I so say that my experiences have been True to their teachings.
Though I must confess it has been such an awesome experience being in such a state. The things that feeling has taught me, of the poems it brought out of me, the level of possessiveness it helped cut, the patience it helped me acquire ensures I’ll always stay grateful for the person who has been the epicentre of all the subtle experiences I have had over the past two years (2008-2010). Even though it all has ended in a rejection, despite all the pain one encounters during this very blissful phase, at the end of the road, it has been all worth it!
And after having lived that phase and having given nearly everything my heart could spare, I just have these lines to say
It is better to have loved & lost than to have never loved at all!
– just an ordinary tale for those extraordinary days of life!