Wake up…


Wake up Sid Kannav

 

Many a times I have been asked and so I have wondered which movie has had its lasting impact on me or which movie I have felt resonating the most with. I have always given away vague answers, always.

So today after watching ‘Wake up Sid’ for don’t know which number of time I have probably found the answer.

But why am I taking the pain of writing down these lines when I have found an answer I wasn’t even looking for.

Not sure about it! Just that every time I have felt low, I have watched ‘Wake up Sid’ lately.

Why?

Because somewhere in portrayal of the protagonist I see a reflection of my existence! Short on temper, gravely lonely, unsure of what I am up to and having to live with the criticism of someone you love or have loved (The end part kills me!)

I first watched the movie in 2009 with my younger brother on my first vacation home. Wasn’t ever the lively sorts, so I felt really good about the lead character for his ability to live life as it is! Movies make an ass out of us and this one made one out of me. Then came the story in my life where I lost some very close friends. Hard it was initially but the pain slowly withered away. Then came the period or long spell of eternal sunshine when I finally found my zone, a single friend with whom everything felt perfect, and the one friend who became more than just a friend.

And here, ladies and gentlemen is where reality is the bitter. Things haven’t been the same over past year and a half. I don’t want them to be now. But it’s like life is stuck. The free fall has been arrested but I now dangle from a hook. To be very honest, I hate it. But then, like the protagonist, I don’t have a clue about where to go about and hence just moved into a shell where I escape from the action outside. But everytime I step out, the thrashing of the music returns. I have long endured the wrath of the lady I love the most (My Mother, of course) that I am too short on temper and that I need to learn how to absorb more. In those words somewhere I have lost my ability to draw the line of “Enough”.

Watching this movie sometimes soothes my nerves. Maybe somewhere in the character I will find my calling, my clue. Or maybe not – for I am no Sid, I am Kannav and my wakeup call has to be different.

Let’s hope I am listening to it when it comes. For now, I continue to take the battering, the criticism for caring weirdly, for being ‘Uncool or as in my language as they say – For being a total Chutiya

 

 

Would like to leave you with the following lines

 

Boondon ke motiyon me ghul ke ehsaas aaya
waqt se nikal ke lamha dil ke paas aaya

Chhoo ke guzra tha par dil ko na mehsoos hua
ab jo dekha toh woh lamha dil ko raas aaya!
Yun ki tai kar na paaun re
Dil ki baat main hawa ke zariye pahunchaun re
ya khud hawa pe chal ke aaun re?
Tumse pyaar hai, yeh khul ke jinn me keh paaun re
lafz woh kahan se laaun re?

(I realized after dissolving in droplet beads

The moment has come to my heart,
it touched but the heart could not feel
now when I looked, the heart loved it!
I am not able to decide,
Should I send the message of my heart through breeze
Or should I come myself floating on the air?
I love you, frankly in which I can say
where do I get the words from?)

 

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