`Hey Guys, been long since I last felt like sharing, well exams were on, so I am back, after the fact that life has been a touch derailed!
Well I don’t know what recently has got into me, and what has been driving me crazy than usual, why I have been forcing myself upon my conscience, why I have been talking bull-shit, why have I been “Faking” it?
Thing is of late , I haven’t experienced the small Joys I’m so used to, the things that used to make me feel alive, the things that were my extra source of inspiration, and the ones which at times made me what I am & was, & which actually used to define Kanav Mahajan!
and You may ask , ” Why?”
Well, actually I am just as confused as probably you maybe, and probably, many of you must be really pissed off( i know I’m over exaggerating) or probably angry with me, But I know that, you too , just like me, must have gone through many rough phases, having endured them with grit and determination,and without allowing Life to soak away the patience , and the enthusiasm of Living!
But today I stand defeated, shoulders down, broken!
Reason?, well because like always I have on My head & on my heart another rough patch, but now I am out of options, out of excuses, with all the things I have proposed, nearly & neatly Disposed !
and just that this time around, I don’t want to fight anymore, I feel Like I Have had enough of the swim, Now I want some rest on the shore! because though there have been battles I have won, I still see myself losing the war, cause some one opened up the door, which was previously ajar! The door that projects the worse of my nightmares, and the worst of my memories!
and hence I don’t know what I am going to do, or what I am supposed to do! I Know I need some time out, some break, but with none coming in the upcoming days, I just am More confused
But again, probably like always, I’ll get over this rough patch, sooner rather than Later
But I all I wanted to convey was that this Time , I’ve been left Disheartened( by the sheer failure of my probably futile efforts) and hence I am more confused than before
and That is why I am in distress
cause I’m failing to perform My duty
unable to observe the fine
details and the beauty
and that is why today
I’ve on my head
some unbelievable stress
and feeling really hopeless
Kanav….. probably having a real Blue patch!