The side-Kick

Well well, didn’t know we will be meeting so soon again! but what to do, life is a shit journey after all! a remark for those who say it is short-” well it is the longest thing you’ll ever know”. and so please forgive me for anything offensive I may talk about you here, but its my mood that drives me , and its been a while since I’ve felt myself on the verge of an emotional breakdown, with some liquid fluid which idiots like me know by the word Tear(s), ready to roll down my face and to be frank, It is all my fault For always trying to find some joy in someone else’s happiness, for trying to give everything my heart can spare- My time, & probably my soul.

Well My words may not make sense to you ( or much sense)or they may not be making much sense now simply because I’m not used to writing or trying to write in a state of near break down, but let me today share a very rarely seen side of mine with you.

So tell me, ever felt the pain of having to admit to yourself that all the while, all the good things about you have been the worst things about you, having  put every ounce of effort to try & bring someone out of a bad time ( & in some cases worse) , only to find your heart & soul trapped in a bigger shit, of having allowed come someone so close to your heart, not to become a part of it, but to slice away a part of it in a manner that it only causes pain and nothing else, having tried to be there (or atleast trying to)whenever a special person needed you, only to find yourself dejected and alone when you needed the same person and then living with excuses( or which may be actual but not with a probability of 1 ), of having been made to feel like a side-kick by the same person whom you had given more importance than even yourself?

If yes, then probably you do know how it feels to be a side-kick, how it feels to be on the verge of tears cause of the same feeling, how to feel totally lost & lonely in a group, how to survive with the emptiness, of just  being confused about why such things keep happening to You time after time, of just pondering and pondering, staring wildly at your cell device, in anticipation of probably one message or something, of just wasting away yourself , your mind, soul, everything, for absolutely no reason,but still not making the person know about how the delays, and the non-replies have felt, how it has been to try and answer one’s own unanswered questions, of how to deal with your mind which constantly keeps calling you a CHUTIYA , and so much else, and so much more.

So probably you may say – Don’t Expect anything from anyone in return, but Believe me that is not the way Emotions are, and when your Heart gives something( or everything ) to soothe someone , it wants something in return when it needs that something.

and about expectations thing, I don’t know if it is wrong or right, but the feel of broken expectations is so severe, that I can’t type it here.

and trust me when you are made to feel like a side-kick , try & accept or make yourself believe that you are  worthy of it.

cause Life after all is  a bundle of torn patches and sad tales, stitched together in an uncomfortable  fashion and at the end of the day, you have no choice but to LIVE it!


The Side Kick

PS: the author is a kaam chalau thing, but still has got emotions, so being A side kick hurts, no matter how Much he may disguise his expressions !


4 thoughts on “The side-Kick

  1. you were walking with someone (atleast wat i assume)..
    ..and now the one actually chose to get out of road.
    but you are not yet.. and never let yourself do that even.
    the one actually was walking out the road and is fond of that, but you are superior as you have the greatest power a human can have i.e perseverance.
    so just look that these “words” don’t affect the heart.. but remain an effect of heart.

  2. hmmm…really deep, but thr are a few ppl in front of whom u shudnt disguise ur expressions.. i think u have a few..count upon ’em nd not on d one who leaves u wid an excuse cos i feel thrs never an excuse for helpin a person we love..god bless you.

  3. Now this was you,totally you.
    every single part of u.
    let your heart out man.
    jst reminded me of my statement”yahan kisi ne mera theka nahi le rkha”
    meaning got to be independent.this statement was wrt to friends(u kno what kind)in my case.
    but lookm whatever it was.nobodys meant to live as a sidekick.coz if ur,its not meant to be ur life

  4. Whoa whoa .. Somebody is very angry … 🙂
    I completely agree with you .. YES ! When we go stand out of the herd for someone, it’s very natural to expect a reciprocation. And it’s natural because we are humans, we are humans because we have feelings, emotions .. and sadly (another emotion- see we cannot do without them) it is a price we have to pay for being God’s best creation …

    Since we cannot help it, we have to live with it and since we have to live with it, we got to do that in a good positive way .. Remember you are the master of your own will. You have the right and authority to filter the people in your life. There would be people who would hurt you, there would be some who would even take advantage of you. But you cant let such jerks kill your peace. You get hurt once, you forget .. you get hurt twice, you forgive .. you get thrice, you learn a lesson .. you get hurt more than that, you tear that page off your life’s book.

    Many would say “forgiveness is the key to happiness” – I believe in the same with a little correction – “not all the time” .. When a mistake is repeated, it doesnt stay a mistake .. it becomes a habit …

    Cheer up and do not let that smile fade off your face. Some people are just not worth your tears, they wouldnt have been the cause otherwise …

    Stay happy and keep bringing out good topics. It’s always a pleasure reading your stuff. Cant help my laziness though which delays the commenting part 😦

    Keep up the great job.
    Kiddo 😉

    P.S. – You rock !!! \m/..\m/

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